Life As I Know It: Goodbyes Are Never Easy

How do you say goodbye to kids that you’ve grown to love over the last 4 weeks? You don’t. There is no easy way to even begin to go about doing so. Looking into their smiling faces as they were giving me hugs yesterday just made it that much harder. I didn’t tell them I was leaving forever. I couldn’t do it. I said goodbye to them like I did everyday. Except for one small detail. I didn’t say “Tutaonana kesho” which means “We will see each other tomorrow”. I said this everyday to them, except for yesterday. I didn’t want to lie to them, but I couldn’t bear to tell them the truth either. They’re used to people coming in and out anyways. I didn’t give them any last hugs before leaving. I just cherished every single one that they gave me that day, knowing it would be our last.

I knew it would be hard to leave, but I didn’t really know it would be this hard. Mufindi changed my life. It changed my whole perspective on life. It’s one thing to read about and know about orphans. It’s another completely different thing to work with them in person. To see their smiling faces everyday and know that they have no parents to take care of them. To see them crying and know that they will never be able to cry for their mother again. It’s life changing. These kids are so inspiring with how they are able to seem so happy. If you just met any of them without knowing, you would never guess. They seem just like any other happy kids. Some of the kids living there are only there temporarily. They were removed from their home because of abuse and the NGO hopes to place them back with their families eventually. Do you know what it’s like to look at a kid and know that they were so badly abused that they had to be removed from their homes? Its absolutely heartbreaking. I don’t see how anybody could hurt a child. How could someone abuse that happy little boy that just ran up and gave me a huge hug? How is that even possible? It’s unbelievable. The other kids living there have lost both their parents, mostly to HIV, and are true orphans. I learned some of their stories while I was there, and became touched by them…

…One young boy named Mussa, just one look at him and your heart will melt. He’s quite the troublemaker though. He’s always doing something to get in trouble, but one look at his little face and it’s hard to get angry with him. Mussa is one of the original kids from the NGO. He has no family left. He has been living there for just about his whole life.

…Another young boy named James. He is always smiling. He loves the camera. Every time you see him he asks “Piga picha!” (Take a picture). It can get annoying, but all he wants is to see the picture of himself after you take it. He has some sort of back deformity. Although he can still walk, he is starting to become in more and more pain. They’re not sure what exactly is wrong with him, but they want to keep him as mobile as possible and not confine him to a wheelchair. No one picks on him though. All the kids actually seem to help him. I learned later on that he is actually Eliza’s brother, the little girl that Julia was taking care of.

…Boni was another little boy I learned about. He too is always happy, just as all the kids are. Boni always seemed a little off though. A little slow in his learning and his behavior a little off as well. I learned that they had somebody come look at Boni, and they think he has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. This too is just unbelievable to me. I don’t know how anybody could knowingly drink while they are pregnant. Maybe in a rural area like Mufindi, they don’t know about FAS as much, but I bet they do. I don’t know how someone could knowingly put their child into harms way like that. How they could possibly ruin their child’s life by giving them a disorder that is completely preventable.

It was definitely hard to leave the kids. As we were driving away this morning, I did start crying a little bit. I just couldn’t get their little smiling faces out of my head. If I could, I would take them all home with me. I’m glad they are where they are though. They are getting a good life there with a good education and a good family support system. As much as I have come to dislike NGOs overall since I’ve been here and learned more about them, some of these kids owe their life to this NGO, and how could you not be thankful that they are there?

Leaving the kids was the hardest part of the day yesterday, but last night Jenny, Geoff, Amari, and Justin came over for a final game night/hangout before we take off. We ended up playing the game with no name. I had never played before, but it turned out to be really fun. They left a little early so that we could start packing up since we were leaving early in the morning. This morning, we stopped by one last time at their house to drop off a few things with them and say our final goodbyes. I’m definitely going to miss Mufindi. It really was a life changing experience and I am so glad that I had the opportunity to go there.